Mom's Visit to Beijing (click for Photos)

Look out Mao.

Open House Surprise

Well, I was hoping that this next blog would be about the Chinese firedrill that occurred two weeks ago, which I videotaped extensively...however, China is being very uncool about youtube. I realize that the government is trying to hold onto power amid this camera phone/instant upload generation, but it is clearly a losing battle. If the government wanted to solidify some "political capital" among their increasingly unemployed and angry masses, maybe unblocking the internet--all of it--would take the economic downturn edge off.

But, I digress, as usual. This entry is about the surprise open house at my school today, in which the parents of all 600 plus of my students, came to worry, criticize and shop around for future teachers/tutors. Surprise being the key word. Today, which is my longest day of classes (7 plus english corner), I walked into what would normally be a crowded room of 40 students and two teachers (sometimes there aren't enough chairs and the chinese teachers share a seat with a student...yeah creepy), to find it jam packed with domineering parents and anxiety laden students. This was going to be a good day...

Getting the students to even utter a sentence in front of their watchful parents gaze was as difficult as getting a clear yes or no answer out of my "helper teachers" (for example yesterday's question was, will there be parents in my class today? NO was their response.)

Although tangential, when preparing next week's 11th grade class, I encountered something peculiar: Only one of the three Chinese dictionaries I used had a translation for the word "fact". Even the online ones came up with zero search results...now that is telling of this country.

I made it to lunch, and was greatful for a peaceful meal of unidentifiable meat with veggies over rice, when I noticed a lady was blatently staring at me. I burried my head in lunch, but soon enough it was gone, and I was stuck face to face with this lady. She began starting speaking to me in broken english, asking if I taught her children (which I don't) and then proceeded to offer me a job. I wonder if she actually has students here, or is just trying to steal away some foreign teachers.

Thankfully, english corner was about to start, so I excused myself and went back to the school. On my walk back, I quickly realized that there was a reason the unidentifiable meat dish was so abundant in the dining hall--it was Chinese exlax. However, on my run up the stairs, I was stopped by more students, teachers and parents and was forced to eek out a miserable 15 minutes with them before I could run and grab some TP. (Yes in China, almost every bathroom is lacking of toilet paper, which means BYO TP or well...)

Sparing the gruesome details, lets just say that Chinese toilets are essentially holes in the ground, and using them is only comfortable for people who've grown up as baseball catchers (in fact, I don't know why China has yet to produce a MLB catcher). Anyway, I do my best to live like a Chinese person, but seriously, there is nothing more demeaning than balancing over a stanky hole with your pants around your ankles, when your 10th grade students and one of their fathers comes in...and starts talking to you in Chinese. Anyone else would have properly read the look of anguish on my face to mean "Leave me the fuck alone", but no-not here.

God a hate bring your parents to school day.

A-Rod "amateur hour" vs. the A-Gonz (Alberto Gonzalez) Defense

I cannot recall, I cannot remember, it was amateur hour, I was stupid...give me a f-ing break. I'll give A-Rod this: he's not clutch in playoffs, but at least he can bloop one past a few AP press writers and come off smiling more than Ahmendijad...back to that later.

Truth is...or what will probably surface, is that one of the greatest hitters of my time was doing so because of a combination of partially banned and banned substances. Thanks Selig for that one. At least the A-Rod thing takes attention off of Phelps, who did in no way enhance his professional career, but rather got caught trying to make up for missing out on his Teenage-hood, college years and young adult hood (DUI included).

The real travesty is that being stupid here is now the default for passing the buck--and although A-rod is just taking a page out of the Bush cabinet play-book, it's really the fault of everyones favorite bud, Mr. Selig. My uncle used to say "I can understand someone being stupid, or understand being lazy, but not both". This is what baseball has devolved into. Laziness for turning to steroids, and feigned stupidity when called to the stand.

I realize there are 103 other players (and god knows who more) on that list, which means there's about 1-3 players per team that could be implicated. Obviously no one wants to see their heroes die, but that's like saying there aren't any gay people in Iran---There are, it's just odds at this point. It is on Selig to fix this and change the game drastically now, or step down.

If I was the manager of a bar, and someone got in an accident driving home after a few drinks, I'd be liable. YOU'RE LIABLE, BUD! Don't even pull the A-Gonz excuse. Who knows, maybe you've been doing a little enhancing of your own...just don't believe those ads on late at night. Just like steroids they'll wreck your man parts and give you a heart attack.

Great Wall in Winter (Click here for album)

Exactly six months after my first visit to the Northwestern part of Beijing Great Wall (July 4th), I set out with some college friends to see the Northeast Section of the Great Wall.

The contrast between a half years time and 150 miles distance was stark.

First, when I visited on July 4th the weather was muggy, the air was polluted and the temperature exceeded 96 degrees Fahrenheit. However, yesterday's trip was on a remarkably clear Beijing winter day, placing the temperature in the single digits during day time. As sun would set on the wall, these temperatures plunged into the negative digits.

Second, my first Great Wall trip was mired with tourists galore. Westerners, Chinese people, Japanese hello kitty tour groups with megaphones blaring and yellow "follow-the-leader" flags made finding any quiet nook of serenity on this massive wall impossible. I couldn't get a photo without at least one or two Chinese people waving the "peace sign" in the background. The mystic of the Great Wall seemed swallowed up in rampant commercialization.

Yet this time, the tourists were nowhere to be seen. In fact, aside from two other "lao beijingers" who were photographing a collage of the wall, it was just Phillippe, Coop and myself. It was the quietest moment I had experienced in all of China. Beautiful solitude, free from the honking, yelling, hustle-bustle insanity that makes this country both exciting and utterly exhausting.

Although we didn't arrive at the location until 4 30 (it was an hour and a half outside of Beijing in the neighboring Hebei province), our tardiness was met with a pleasant surprise. We crested the high points over looking the simitai valley right at sunset. The view was breathtaking, and although the creeping night time cold cut our time their short, it was well worth the hike.